Coming into the world is a very big and scary adventure for babies. At first they don't know that you are there to comfort them, and feed them, and care for them. They only know when they feel comfortable and safe, or afraid, or hungry, or unsafe.
However, even from birth, your baby will start to communicate with you, and give you little signals when they are tired, or hungry, or awake and alert. They are learning all the time, and the job of parents is to help them to know that the world is a welcoming place for them to be in, where their needs will be met, and they will learn to feel safe and loved. Remember that for a new baby, everything is new and scary at first, even a nappy (diaper) change.
The first and perhaps most important thing to understand about newborn babies, is that they do not have any understanding of being a separate person inside their own skin, and certainly not a person in relationship with other people.
Newborn babies do not cry 'for attention' or to 'get at' their parents
A new baby, in the first three months, is not capable of responding to you with any conscious purpose. They have feelings of pleasure when they feed successfully, or hear your soothing voice. They have feelings of pain when they feel hungry or frightened - but they don't actually know that fear is what they feel, and neither do they understand there is a 'them' to feel it. So if they hear loud or frightening noises for instance, and feel fear, they have no way of knowing that they did not cause the noise themselves. In other words; they think they are their environment, so it matters very much what their environment is like.
Because babies feel but are not yet able to think, they will pick up your feelings and become unhappy themselves if you are unhappy.
This can be inconvenient, because if you feel upset it will be impossible to hide it from your baby – he/she will think it's their feeling and respond as if it was! So, whenever you are tired and frazzled, often your baby will be hard to settle!'
Each baby is different. So they grow and develop in their own way.
"Every baby is different". You have heard this sentiment before, but it is really true, and means that every baby has a different constitution and personality, that may also be very different from your own. They may be easy-going and placid, or they may be shy and worried. They may possess many other natural ways of responding that you will be getting to learn about, and recognise, over the early months.
The human face is the first, and most important, shape that they learn, and the sounds of human voices are very important to them, even though they do not understand them.
Even shy and sleepy babies, will want to take an interest in you - especially your voice and your face. A big section of the human brain is devoted to understanding and remembering faces, and a large part of our social behaviour is based on how we 'read' other people's faces. Looking into someone's eyes is a necessity for 'falling in love' and forming a close and warm relationship. Show your baby your face, and talk to them soothingly right from the start. Don't feel rejected if they turn away; tiny babies often get tired when they interact, and frequently need a rest.
Babies need to feel safe, that someone is looking after them. They often begin to smile at a familiar face, by around 4 to 6 weeks, and will look at you carefully from around the same time.
Although babies are ready to exist and grow outside of their mother's womb, most parts of their bodies are still immature.
All new babies are very busy with their body. All brand new and never been used before - it takes the first three months to get the digestive system cranked up and running smoothly. You can tell by your baby's face, he/she is preoccupied a lot of the time with whatever is going on inside of them.
Since babies do not understand anything about what is happening around them, they can become distressed if they are given too much to see, or do.
They are being bombarded by what is outside of them, and can easily feel overwhelmed by the stimulation of the diverse sounds, colours, shapes and tactile sensations, in the world outside the womb. Sometimes it's just too much! Loud noises will frighten most babies in their first months, but they are soothed by crooning and the sound of gentle voices, and music, they heard in the womb.
Note: "Jiggling" babies is not a good way to help them settle, and can be very scary or even painful for the baby, even if he/she stops crying. It is important to never shake a baby.
Newborns have immature eye muscles, and while they can see, particularly at close range, they cannot organise the visual images into meaningful shapes. In the first three months, they are attracted by bright light, primary colours, stripes, dots and patterns.
The human face is the first 'object' they recognise, by understanding that the eyes, nose and mouth form a face. Over the first three months, they begin to recognise particular faces, and other things [like their teddy bear] in their world. Stringing pictures of faces and simple toys above their cot, will give them practice at organising shapes visually.
New babies move their bodies while they are awake, but they do not yet know how to make each part of their body move, or even that all the "bits" belong to them.
Infants in the first eight weeks have no control over their movements, and all their physical activity is involuntary or reflex. Sucking, grasping, startling and standing, are all reflexes. In their third month, they will begin to watch their hands and feet wave in the air, and also begin to wave their fists towards your face, or some other desired object. They are beginning to get the idea that they have a body that moves, feels, has skin all round it, and that they have some influence over what it does!
They start to work out how to lift their heads when lying on their tummy, and kick their legs, by about 8 weeks.
It is important to respond to your tiny baby as soon as practical, so he/she begins to understand that you will be there for them when he/she calls out for you. This develops the feeling of security, which is very important.
Social-emotional
Signs that suggest that there might be difficulty relating with the baby
Motor skills, vision and hearing
Signs that suggest that the baby may have a developmental problem
Daily activities
Signs that suggest that the baby may have a developmental problem
Speech and Language
Signs that suggest that the baby may have a developmental problem
Note: All babies are different, and develop at different rates. So if your baby does not do all the things mentioned in this article, it may be because your baby is working on some different area of their learning and development, at present. However, if your baby is very different from other babies, if you are worried about our baby's development or if your baby's development seems to go backwards, you should seek the advice of a health professional. If there is anything wrong, getting professional advice early will help. Otherwise, it is good to have reassurance that your baby is developing normally, in their own unique way, and to remember; what matters is to support them on moving forward, from where they are now.
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care.
If you have a particular problem, consult a doctor.